If you ask the average person on the street to list Ӑrimal emotions,Ԡanger will be one of the first examples they offer. You understand why: It's raw. It's overpowering. It feels like it comes from deep down below, from somewhere instinctual. To most people, anger is the realest emotion of all because it's so sure of itself. There's no mistaking anger. Though anger has a negative connotation these days, it's there for a reason. All emotions have a purpose. If they didn't, emotions as a physiological category wouldn't have arisen and survived millions of years of evolution. An emotion is an adaptation to an environmental condition. Anger exists because it promotesׯr promotedס survival advantage. Those animals who felt something approximating anger outcompeted those who didn't. That's what it comes down to. On the surface, anger is a self-protective adaptation. By showing anger, we display a capacity for aggressive action to those who would threaten us or our tribeסnd most socially astute, reasonable
people (and even many animal predators) will retreat in the majority of situations. Anger, in this way, is part of the ӣhecks and balancesԠsystem inherent to our social contracts. It gives the other party pause to consider whether itҳ really worth the trouble to encroach. But like other emotions, anger is also an internal messenger. When we feel the rush of anger overtake us, that's an internal signal that a line has been crossed. Maybe someone has threatened or harmed a loved one. Perhaps you've become aware of an injustice. And when a line has been crossed, anger is your signal to act: to defend yourself, your family, your integrity, your home, or your ideals. Unfortunately, the line isn't always worth defending. Sometimes we mess up and feel angry over something silly. A line has been crossed, but it was a ridiculous line that doesn't objectively deserve the response. That's what we need to figure out and manage: why are we angry and what can we do about it? You certainly can't just ignore it. The
visceral energy of anger is remarkably durable. Because it's a fact. It exists. It will come up. Lines will be breached. Most of us no longer live in the same ancestral environment where raw unfiltered anger makes obvious sense, but arise it will all the same. We kid ourselves if we think weҲe immune to its inherent human force. How can we keep it reined in enough to not thwart our own well-being or run afoul of the law? How can we control or manage itץven channel it? In short, how can we have and express well-deserved anger without getting burned by it? Tips for Managing Anger (So It DoesnҴ Manage You): Practice mindfulness, and bring that deep awareness to anger when it rises. This isnҴ about leaving society. Itҳ simply about being cognizant of what youҲe feeling and how those feelings unfold in you. To do this, we learn to stop identifying with our feelings and come to observe ŠContinue reading How to Manage Unproductive AngerThe post How to Manage Unproductive Anger appeared first on Mark's Daily
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